I create an environment in which you have no will. I seduce you into a false pretense of conformity and susceptibility. You are mine. I believe this before it even begins. I do not seduce you for your own benefit. I seduce you for my own selfish narcissistic needs. I don’t want you sexually yet i pursue you as such. I don’t want you as a friend yet I pursue you as such. I make everything about you and what you deserve. I encourage you to be you without actually letting you be you. I navigate your emotions like a child playing with a toy. I contort your ideology to become my own. I subdue you into a false sense of caring, of comfort belief that i am here and i understand and have answers to all your suffering. Yet I impose upon you my own creed. My own suffering and torment and make it yours without you even knowing.I torture you with ambiguity and no sense of care, I let you grow only to destroy you within my own realm. I build you up within my walls only to smash you down as harshly and brutally as i can without even showing the aggression of which resides within me. My demons…my self….I ruin you for my own gain.
I don’t want to…
I do these things in the beginning without thought, without control, without consciousness. I am not myself, I reside within a hell that i cannot escape. I don’t look at you as a person. You are a tool. An experiment, A failed opportunity at happiness, an excuse to alleviate my own internal torment. Yet you do not know this, because I…do not know this.
I corrupt you, your beauty, your innocence and turn it in to deception of mind and body and make it all about me without you even being aware of what i’m doing to you. I allow you to believe that it is somehow something you are doing wrong and something that you cannot control but i have the guidance and resolve to show you when in fact it is me that has caused this conscious pain.