S.I

I was standing before you, In awe.
Time goes by, your beauty only grows in my eye.
On the rare I see you, I struggle for words.

Like a teenage boy I behave,
I lie about why I am there.
I am to scared to show I care.
I want to tell you, but…
I’m afraid you won’t care,
I don’t think you would feel the same,
Am I just out of the game,
The next time I will tell you I promise.

Oh no, that time came and went.
Even as I was speaking I knew I was lying to you.
I was there for you, I came back for you.

But, I look at you and see a star,
Of beauty and knowledge by far you are,
Flowing with warmth and kindness, I see,
You are far far far too good for me,
Your adolescence not gone far
Your beauty and kindness are who you are,
But I am of old, not in charm or wisdom or warmth.

My time of beauty is gone, my time of youth long past.
I wish I had met you instead of my last.

For though she shone, of a beauty so bright,
Her dark heart, tore my world apart.
She knew no bound, my soul she found.
In crimson night, she stripped it clean,
Bleeding it dry like a sun lit stream.
I don’t mean to compare her to you,
But in my heart, I want to be true.

You are like a diamond of beauty and light
I am like a roach in the dead dead of night.
You are out of my league by comparison far,
And I would not want tarnish what you are!
Please understand I like you a lot,
But you are what I am not,
Alas, you must never know.

Your beauty compels my desiring mood,
To come back home out of the dark,
To find a warmth and comfort in your heart.

I wrote this after seeing someone that I have had a crush on for a while but thought she was out of my league. In the time that past from then till now, things have been bad. However, I bumped into her again and I just felt good. Then I thought about the differences good and bad and weighed them up, from that I decided to write this. If she is the Ying then the other is Yang (My ex destroyed who I am and they are of similar descent yet this one has all the good and little of the bad.).
I wrote this while high. That is important to mention not as a justification but rather an admission that in my fear to speak from the heart, being high lets me connect with more expressive emotions.

For S.I

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