People, your smiles make me sad,
I see your happiness and I hurt a little more each time,
I did not ask to be this way.
I walk alone, among you I am invisible,
I want to scream but I don’t know why,
Some days I just want to die.
Those days that pass is hard for me,
A struggle in my life, that you cannot see,
I lock myself away, honestly, to keep you safe from me.
Sometimes I struggle with the demon inside,
Lurking around, looking for a way out,
It creeps closer each time.
Why do I have this creature inside?
I am not its capturer, it is mine.
I cannot breathe, eat, or sleep.
I must keep it locked away,
But I fear that one day…
Struggling with your darker self is never easy, but depression is for me the awareness that it is consuming me and no matter how much I struggle it always seems to appear just when I feel that I might be free. Tormenting me on a conscious level it is like another voice inside of me strangled by anger, screeching, and clawing at my skin.